Fit For A Queen – The Big Guide To Big Dildos

Purchasing a big dildo can be a big decision to make.  You have to consider the size, shape, and quality of your new gentle giant, all while avoiding toxic materials like PVC (sex toys still aren't regulated in most parts of the world).

So to make things easier, I've put together a list with 32 of the best and biggest dildos.  These aren't only huge, but made from trusted creators of body-safe toys.

To get started, here's a table of all the chapters to this girthy guide.

Dildo

Size

More

Etsy's Giant Hand-made Dildos

12" - 17" long

Big Tantus Dildos - High Quality Silicone

8" - 15" long

Big Realistic Dildos

ginormous gambler dildo from vixen creations

15 inches

(39 cm)

Monster  & Dragon Dildos

One of the giant dildos

15 inches

(39 cm)

Longest Dildos

12 inches long, 15.75" girth

(27 cm)

Cheap Big PVC Dildos (PROCEED WITH CAUTION)

12 inches long, 15.75" girth

(27 cm)

Moby Dick: World's Largest Dildo?

No big dildo guide would be complete without an ode to Moby Dick, the world's largest dildo.  

At 3 feet long and 15 inches of girth this is an Everest that most size-queens can only dream of conquering.

For everyday citizens though, the Moby Dick is more often used as a novelty item or trade-show guest.  According to the amazon reviews, it's been used as a cat scratch post, cuddle buddy at night, and hat stand.  Someone even recommended drawing a smiley face on it, putting it in the passenger seat of their car, and getting free trips in the car pool lane. 

Because the material is PVC I wouldn't recommend actually getting this.  It smells like chemicals and if it gets too hot it will melt like a snowman.  Let's keep our fingers crossed they make a silicone version.

Huge Etsy Dildos

Right alongside Etsy's custom Harry Potter t-shirts, hand-made quilts, and cute sloth rings you'll find some of the most massive dongs on the internet.

My personal favorite is the 17" ogre dildo made by artists YiffMonkey.  You learn in the description that this goliath dildo was molded from an ogre named  "Patrick", who was a bit more sophisticated than most ogres the creator met.  All of YiffMonkey's dildos have fun origin stories like this for their products, and they are a great Etsy store to add to your bookmarks.

Dildo

Size

Flowers For Quality

Price

More

Patrick the Ogre

17" long

(43 cm)

13.5" girth

(34 cm)

$150 - $375

Tim the Werewolf

13.5" long

(43 cm)

3.5" wide

$243

Dante The Draft Horse

9"

(27 cm)

5.5" girth

$65

The Hulk Dildo

10"

(25 cm)

7.5" Girth

(19 cm)

$100

Navigating Etsy For Big Dildos - Etsy is one of my favorite places to discover new sex toys.  Most of the big dildos here are as much works of art as they are pleasure objects, hand-made to order by sculptors and silicone artists.

The downside of Etsy is that the products come and go all the time, kind of like Trader Joes, don't expect your favorite sea-salt caramel chocolate to always be there.  Same thing with Ogre dildos on Etsy, some weeks its available, sometimes not.

Also, since they are hand-made to order the delivery time can take up to a month.

Big Dildo Spotlight: Etsy's The Hulk Dildo

If you've ever wondered what the Hulk's packing, this might be your answer.  

Don't let the 9 inches of radioactive green fool you, this is made from medical grade silicone and very safe to use.

It's made by Geeky sex toys , which makes toys of comic book, TV show, and movie characters.  They also have a groot dildo, captain america butt plug, and a thor hammer dildo.  Since they are based in Australia expect a long shipping time if you are in the USA or Europe.

Big Tantus Silicone Dildos

Tantus is a Nevada based sex toy company, owned by sex toy pioneer and educator Mettis Black.  They make all their big dildos from platinum cure medical grade silicone that won't melt or leak toxic chemicals like PVC dildos do.

In total, they make 33 different dildos, here are their 6 biggest.

Dildo

Size

Flowers Given

Price (USD)

More

Hoss

The Hoss Huge dildo

11" long,

2.75" wide

200.00

Amsterdam

10.5" long,

2.6" wide

130.00

Mr Universe

Best big anal dildo

7" long

3" wide

100.00

Cowboy

15" long

2.75" wide (at the base)

170.00

Cisco

2.25" long

10.75" wide

100.00

General

7" long

2.2" wide (at the base)

130.00

When it comes to sensation these big dildos are some of the best feeling guys out there.  They use Tantus's patented super soft silicone which helps for stretching into a new size.

When it comes to looks they aren't the most colorful or elaborate, though. Right now they only come in black, but recently Tantus announced that they are adding more colors, like green and pink colors to Hoth and Cisco.

Spotlight: Big Anal Dildo, Mr. Universe


Huge Novelty Dildos (Not Safe For Use)

There are plenty of large dildos that are 'novelties' meaning not meant for actual use.  It's important to note that these are made from potentially toxic materials like PVC and phthalates.  There are no regulations on sex toys so companies often sell toys using cheap unsafe materials to make more profit (they don't have to disclose the actual recipe used in sex toys).  Using them on your anus or vagina has a risk of causing rashes, burning, infections, and irritation.  They will also smell like chemicals and will melt in the heat.  For 100% body safe dildos that are still massive, check out the top of this guide. 

Dildo

Length

Girth

Material

Check Price

Moby Dick

3 feet (91 cm)

18 inches

(46 cm)

Mixture of mystery chemicals

12.5" Huge Realistic Dildo

This is a massive realistic dildo

12.5" (32 cm)

7 inches

(18 cm)

Mixture of mystery chemicals

The Titan

15.5 inches

(43 cm)

11 - 12.5 inches

(28 - 31 cm)

Mixture of mystery chemicals

Mr Humongous

A very thick dildo that feels orgasmic

10 inches

11 - 12.5 inches

(28 - 31 cm)

Mixture of mystery chemicals

Walrus Dildo

12.5 inches

(32 cm)

10 - 15 inches

(25 - 38 cm)

Mixture of mystery chemicals

12 inch Realistic Dildo (Toxic)


Material: Mixture of mystery chemicals

Length: 12 inches

Girth: 6.5 inches

Colors: Black, White, Clear

This two pound dildo is closer to what an actual VERY large penis looks like in real life.  If you are looking for realism and size this is a good one to pick.

But compared to the other dildos on our list this dosen't really compare it size.  With only 7 inches in girth it is about half the thickness of Mr humongous.  This is a great toy if you are looking for a large dildo but nothing too massive.  The tip is easy to slip in and it is a great trainer or warm up for larger sizes.

As for the material, the amazon merchant claims that it is medical grade silicone, but they aren't known for being accurate about materials.  I have yet to try this product myself but from the pictures it looks like it could by PVC and not actually silicone.

Mr Humongous & Cyclops: The Thick & Wide Dildos (Toxic)


Material: Mixture of mystery chemicals

Length: 10 inches

Girth: 11 inches (4" diameter)

Colors: White, Black

An average babies head is 13 inches around when it is delivered.  Mr Humongous is 11 inches.

This makes fisting look like a walk in the park.  If you are not prepared for this dildo you might end up with some anal bleeding and even a trip to the ER.  And if you are an experienced size queen you don't need me to tell you this needs a lot of warming up and training.

But, for those who are ready to take this on the rewards can be phenomenal.  Once you do get the head to pop inside you prepare for some of the most incredible stretching known to human-kind.  

The 10 inch length is small enough that you can ride it with some speed.  At least, until your legs turn to jelly and you cum all over.

There isn't a  suction cup, but the testicles are wide enough to provide a solid base.  And if you use this toy in a shower the testicles create good suction on the wet surface.

Mr Humongous also has a twin dildo called Cyclops.  They are the same in every way except that they come in different colors and Cyclops is $8 cheaper.

Humongous Titan: The Biggest Dildo People Can Actually Fit (Toxic)


Material: Mixture of mystery chemicals

Length: 15.5 inches

Girth: 12.5 inches (4" diameter)

Colors: Black

This is one of the largest volume dildos people use.  It is 5 inches longer than Mr Humongous and the cyclops, and .5" greater in diameter. If you are looking for an extreme stretch that goes deep than this is the holy grail.

This is about as expert as it gets when it comes to massive dildos.  If you haven't been able to master 3.8 inches of diameter the extra .2 to this 4" is a long distance.  There is nothing worse than getting a toy you can't use because you just can't fit it in.  So be sure you can use the other dildos on our list before you consider buying this one.

And as for materials this is PVC which is not the best material in my opinion.  However if you are looking for massive dildos that push the limit your options for materials becomes more limited.

Best Large Anal Dildo: Giant Screw (Toxic)


Material: Mixture of mystery chemicals

Length: 12.5"

Girth: 7.5" - 9.5"

This is a dildo that you can actually screw into your anus.  It's a creative departure from all the penis shaped dildos out there.

In addition to screwing it in, the 'threading' of this big toy lets you hit all the right spots as you go down.  The threading dosen't create as much pressure as a solid 3" diameter toys, so it's great if you are working towards 3" and greater.

The material is PVC which isn't the best.  I have been looking for a large screw dildo made of silicone but haven't found one yet.  Please leave a comment below or if you know of any.

Overall this is a great toy if you are an intermediate or very advance and looking for a good screwing.

Quick Disclaimer

I haven't yet had the chance to review each of these dildos in person.  I created this list by searching for days to find the biggest body-safe dildos I could find. I read hundreds of individual reviews about each dildo to get a feel for its pros and cons.  If a dildo has been reviewed by a sex toy blogger I include a link to their site.

As I do individual reviews for these toys I will update this guide with more information.

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