The Giant Guide to BIG Dildos: Best of the Huge, Long, Thick, And Just Plain Massive

This is a big guide for BIG dildos.  These are for champion size queens only and will take a lot of lube, experience, and warm up to use.  This is a list of the biggest silicone dildos i could find, along with mini-overviews of each one.

If you are looking for huge novelty dildos (Not for use internally, just gag gifts) skip to the end of the guide.

Quick Disclaimer

I haven't yet had the chance to review each of these dildos in person.  I created this list by searching for days to find the biggest (and safest) dildos I could find.  To learn as much as possible I read hundreds of individual reviews about each dildo to get a feel for its pros and cons.  If a dildo has been reviewed by a sex toy blogger I include a link to their site.

As I do individual reviews for these toys (and I plan to in the future) I will update this guide with more information.

Massive Dildos (Starting With The Largest)

Dildo

Length

Girth

Material

Price

Check Price

Moby Dick

3 feet (91 cm)

18 inches

(46 cm)

PVC (Not Safe For Use)

$500

Patrick the Ogre

17 inches

(43 cm)

12.5 - 13.5 inches

(31 - 34 cm)

Silicone

$375

Stan

One of the giant dildos

15 inches

(39 cm)

13.5 - 15.25 inches

(34 - 39 cm)

Silicone

$200

Stan

very big anal dildo

15 inches

(39 cm)

4 - 8.6 inches

(10 - 22 cm)

Silicone

$170

The Hoss

The Hoss Huge dildo

11 inches

(28 cm)

8.6 inches

(22 cm)

Silicone

$200

Amsterdam

10.5 inches

(27 cm)

8.2 inches

(21 cm)

Silicone

$130

The Hulk Dildo

10 inches

(25 cm)

7.5 inches

(19 cm)

Silicone

$100

Moby Dick: World's Largest Dildo

Material: PVC

Colors: 'Flesh', Black

3 feet tall.  50 pounds. 18 inches of girth.  Maybe someday a queen of queens will be able to fit the Moby Dick completely up their bum.

Until then many have tried and continue to try.  Some exceptional amazon reviewers have claimed they managed to get the 15 inch girth tip inside them.

For the rest of us this Moby Dick is a fun novelty item or trade-show guest.  Around the house it can be used as a cat scratch post, cuddle buddy at night, or a hat stand.  Some people even draw a smiley face on it and use it to get into the car pool lane during rush hour. 

It has veins as thick as fingers and its ostrich egg size testicles let it stand up on its own. The PVC material isn't as stable as silicone so be careful about leaving it out in hot days or it could melt like a plastic snowman.  

Patrick The Ogre: Giant Dildo

Material: Medical grade 100% platinum cure silicone

Length: 17 inches

Girth: 12.5 - 13.5 inches

Color: Green or glow-in-the-dark green

This dildo is a bit more manageable than the Moby Dick, but not by much.   It has challenging curves and with a girth of 13 inches at its widest point this is a a dildo for extreme penetration.  

The creator says it is molded from an Ogre name Patrick who has a fat member, even by Ogre standards.  He was uncircumcised apparently, making this the most giant uncircumcised dildo in our list.

With big dildos it can be hard to find ones that come in safe materials.  However, this dildo is made from 100% platinum cure silicone and is completely body-safe and non porous. It is handmade and made to order, taking a week to complete. It is very customizable and you can order it in a dual density firm inside soft outside, or a single firmness.

All the quality isn't cheap though.  It costs from $150 for a soft small size to $415 for a dual density XXL size (shown in the picture).

It is made by dildo artists at YiffMonkey and there are all kinds of monster dildos on their Etsy store.  Their large werewolf dildo is also worth checking out.

The Incredible Dong - Large Hulk Dildo


Material: Silicone

Length: 10"

Girth: 7.5"

If you have ever wondered what the Hulk's penis looks like this is your answer.   By human standards this is a very large size and is full of realistic veins and texture.

At 7.5" in girth this will definitely fill some people to capacity, but it's still far from the largest on our dildo list.

It is a radioactive green color just like the hulk, but the toy is made of high quality silicone and body safe.

It's made by Geeky sex toys , which makes toys of comic book, TV show, and movie characters.  They also have a groot dildo, captain america butt plug, and a thor hammer dildo.  Since they are based in Australia expect a long shipping time if you are in the USA or Europe.

Huge Novelty Dildos (Not Safe For Use)

There are plenty of large dildos that are 'novelties' meaning not meant for actual use.  It's important to note that these are made from potentially toxic materials like PVC and phthalates.  There are no regulations on sex toys so companies often sell toys using cheap unsafe materials to make more profit (they don't have to disclose the actual recipe used in sex toys).  Using them on your anus or vagina has a risk of causing rashes, burning, infections, and irritation.  They will also smell like chemicals and will melt in the heat.  For 100% body safe dildos that are still massive, check out the top of this guide. 

Dildo

Length

Girth

Material

Check Price

Moby Dick

3 feet (91 cm)

18 inches

(46 cm)

Mixture of mystery chemicals

12.5" Huge Realistic Dildo

This is a massive realistic dildo

12.5" (32 cm)

7 inches

(18 cm)

Mixture of mystery chemicals

The Titan

15.5 inches

(43 cm)

11 - 12.5 inches

(28 - 31 cm)

Mixture of mystery chemicals

Mr Humongous

A very thick dildo that feels orgasmic

10 inches

11 - 12.5 inches

(28 - 31 cm)

Mixture of mystery chemicals

Walrus Dildo

12.5 inches

(32 cm)

10 - 15 inches

(25 - 38 cm)

Mixture of mystery chemicals

12 inch Realistic Dildo (Toxic)


Material: Mixture of mystery chemicals

Length: 12 inches

Girth: 6.5 inches

Colors: Black, White, Clear

This two pound dildo is closer to what an actual VERY large penis looks like in real life.  If you are looking for realism and size this is a good one to pick.

But compared to the other dildos on our list this dosen't really compare it size.  With only 7 inches in girth it is about half the thickness of Mr humongous.  This is a great toy if you are looking for a large dildo but nothing too massive.  The tip is easy to slip in and it is a great trainer or warm up for larger sizes.

As for the material, the amazon merchant claims that it is medical grade silicone, but they aren't known for being accurate about materials.  I have yet to try this product myself but from the pictures it looks like it could by PVC and not actually silicone.

Mr Humongous & Cyclops: The Thick & Wide Dildos (Toxic)


Material: Mixture of mystery chemicals

Length: 10 inches

Girth: 11 inches (4" diameter)

Colors: White, Black

An average babies head is 13 inches around when it is delivered.  Mr Humongous is 11 inches.

This makes fisting look like a walk in the park.  If you are not prepared for this dildo you might end up with some anal bleeding and even a trip to the ER.  And if you are an experienced size queen you don't need me to tell you this needs a lot of warming up and training.

But, for those who are ready to take this on the rewards can be phenomenal.  Once you do get the head to pop inside you prepare for some of the most incredible stretching known to human-kind.  

The 10 inch length is small enough that you can ride it with some speed.  At least, until your legs turn to jelly and you cum all over.

There isn't a  suction cup, but the testicles are wide enough to provide a solid base.  And if you use this toy in a shower the testicles create good suction on the wet surface.

Mr Humongous also has a twin dildo called Cyclops.  They are the same in every way except that they come in different colors and Cyclops is $8 cheaper.

Humongous Titan: The Biggest Dildo People Can Actually Fit (Toxic)


Material: Mixture of mystery chemicals

Length: 15.5 inches

Girth: 12.5 inches (4" diameter)

Colors: Black

This is one of the largest volume dildos people use.  It is 5 inches longer than Mr Humongous and the cyclops, and .5" greater in diameter. If you are looking for an extreme stretch that goes deep than this is the holy grail.

This is about as expert as it gets when it comes to massive dildos.  If you haven't been able to master 3.8 inches of diameter the extra .2 to this 4" is a long distance.  There is nothing worse than getting a toy you can't use because you just can't fit it in.  So be sure you can use the other dildos on our list before you consider buying this one.

And as for materials this is PVC which is not the best material in my opinion.  However if you are looking for massive dildos that push the limit your options for materials becomes more limited.

Best Large Anal Dildo: Giant Screw (Toxic)


Material: Mixture of mystery chemicals

Length: 12.5"

Girth: 7.5" - 9.5"

This is a dildo that you can actually screw into your anus.  It's a creative departure from all the penis shaped dildos out there.

In addition to screwing it in, the 'threading' of this big toy lets you hit all the right spots as you go down.  The threading dosen't create as much pressure as a solid 3" diameter toys, so it's great if you are working towards 3" and greater.

The material is PVC which isn't the best.  I have been looking for a large screw dildo made of silicone but haven't found one yet.  Please leave a comment below or if you know of any.

Overall this is a great toy if you are an intermediate or very advance and looking for a good screwing.

About The Author


Amelie

I made kinkbird.com as a place vent my enthusiasm for beautifully crafted silicone.  I hope that every time someone visits this site they discover a new toy they never knew existed.  There are so many wonderful (and safe) options out there that people need to know about!

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